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I demand to be treat like a princess. Have a bless day.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Aunt Loretta

I am sure Ward has mention his Aunt Loretta before. He loves that old woman but I am always just plain embarass by her. She is what they call a naturalist which means she prefers to not ever wear clothes which is just fine for her living alone up on that mountain but is the sort of thing that will cause a ruckus when she strolls into the living room after my mamas funeral when it was just family and friends in morning and Loretta come in wearing nothing but her fur boots with her hand on her hip asking after a hot supper. Yes that happen. And all of us just sat there with our jaws open except Ward who just ask her what she was in the mood for because he was thinking about supper himself. I was fit to be tied but I try to be a lady so real respectful I suggested that dear Aunt Loretta must be cold and don’t she want this afghan wrap around her. I hate to be too vulger but you have never seen anything like that womans clump. Its enough hair there for two heads of hair I am dead serious. Needless to say all our guests departed not long after that and my mamas memory was eclipse by Lorettas hijinx. And when she went back up on that mountain after ruining my mamas funeral that was the last anybody seen or heard from her until I found her on my back porch on Valentines night. We was spare her company during the holidays which made them a more bless time believe me and only received a happy Thanksgiving card from her that arrive the day before New years eve. In it was a picture of the woman naked as the day she was born standing in the freezing cold in front of her cabin with it must of been somebody dumped some water on her because she looked wet and startle. Hows that for a holiday card. But except for that nobody heard from Loretta since she went back up on that mountain after she ruin my mamas funeral. I tell you Kass I was about to cry over all that and thats when Loretta come in the back door and stroll over naked as you please mind you and put her arm around me. She told me I better sit down that she had some news about Ward and what gone on while I was at work WORKING TO SUPPORT THAT MAN! Once more I ask Loretta if she didn’t take a chill in the cold night air and wont she be more comfortable with at least a dress on or at least a shawl so I don’t have to look at it you know—right there like a medium size raccoon curl up in her lap. She would not hear of it was not there to impose but I better sit still so she could tell me what happen. She said she left from home soon as she heard about the trouble on the weekend and was there to jerk a not in Wards tail and set him sstraight but when she had arrive that afternoon it was already too late and Ward was in custody so she had decide to relax and practice her wilderness calls off the back porch. Yes but what happen I asked her and she said oh she didnt know she was just telling what happen to her. That woman will be the death of me if her nephew is not first. Loretta said maybe I better talk to the neighbors and pointed over in the direction of Lavernes trailer and I tell you I would rather get a horse kick to the face then talk to Laverne. We had trouble with her in the past—nosy and prone to make a awful mess when she is over at partys and not a finger raise to help clean up either. She just gets her things together and goes on home, leaving footprints all over everything. I dont think she ever has wore shoes and she sure cannot be trust keep her eyes to herself or her legs close in the company of nobody else. You know the type. But anyway her place was on the way up to the store which I would have to go to the store to use the phone if it was no information forth coming from that Laverne.